I spent today thinking of things I wish someone had told me when I got my first legal job. A lot of those things, I’ve already blogged about; you can find most of them under the the Excellence and Careerism tags. However, I’m rarely at a loss for words, and I did come up with a list of more basic, “universal truth” type items. I’ve grouped them under topic headings.

Generally:

• Some professions are forgiving of mistakes. Law isn’t one of them. Check and re-check your work. Organize yourself to minimize the chance for errors and use Outlook like crazy. Try not to come to work when you’re ill, because you will make dumb mistakes.

• Legal secretaries have two special concerns that no other secretary has: unauthorized practice of law and attorney-client privilege. Learn what they are and how they affect what’s expected of you.

About lawyer relations:

• You must develop a thick skin. Lawyer is a stressful job. It often attracts volatile personalities, and then proceeds to really whack them out.

• Don’t be afraid to (tactfully) stand your ground with difficult lawyers. They’re kind of like unruly dogs: They can smell your insecurity, and they won’t respect you unless you make them.

• Understand that lawyers are skilled in spinning the truth to accommodate their goals, and learn to recognize when they’re deploying that skill against you.

• Never go into a closed-door, one-one-one meeting if you have the slightest suspicion it’s because the lawyer doesn’t want any witnesses. Insist on having an HR person, the office administrator, or a second, trusted lawyer present. (Yeah, there’s a story there, and I will tell it someday.)

About work/life balance:

• When telling new acquaintances what you do for a living, prepare yourself for either one of two responses: (1) “Oh! You know just as much as a lawyer, then. Tell me what I should do about . . . .” or (2) “Oh.” (feigning interest but really disappointed that you’re “just a secretary”).

• Don’t think of your job as your life, or as any reflection on who you are. You are not the only person who ever had a job that didn’t utilize her greatest talents or give her deep fulfillment. While a chosen few get to earn a living doing something they love, the vast majority of us are only at work for a paycheck. Get over it, and excel anyway. And for dog’s sake, get a hobby.

About the job market:

• Never be in a hurry when you’re looking to change jobs. No matter how unpleasant your current gig is, you could have it worse.

• If you’re offered dramatically better pay than the market and your experience level justify, there is a reason. You are guaranteed not to like that reason.

• If you can, move to a major metropolitan area, because pay is all over the map — literally. In metro areas, you’ll earn a nice living. In medium-sized cities, you’ll get by. In small towns, you’ll need public assistance.

• When job-hunting, use the same reference materials lawyers use. Martindale.com and Vault.com are excellent starting points. Firms that are well-regarded by their peers are often the best employers, and firms that keep lawyers happy are probably keeping everyone else happy,too.

• Always go for a big firm.(View The Top 100 Law Firms
  ) A small firm at its best can be a warm and friendly place. A small firm at its worst can be a snake pit. Guess which condition is more common? Big firms pay better, and they have have nicer offices, better equipment and far less politics. What’s a little bureaucracy compared to a black hole filled with writhing vipers?